Yearly Archives:2023

Surviving Valentine’s Day

“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.” – Alfred Adler

It seems we have barely finished taking down the Christmas decorations, when in every store Valentines appear. And, although Valentine’s Day should be something to look forward to in the doldrums of the winter; for many women, Valentine’s Day can bring us into the cold reality of defining us in terms of our relationships… or lack thereof.

For those of us over 50 years of age, we can remember how in elementary school, we would spend days decorating that shoe box, writing out Valentine cards and choosing the best card for that “someone special”; only to watch that “someone special” walk past our desk to give his “someone special” card to that too adorable, too sweet, “teacher’s pet” little girl, who wouldn’t have much as given him the time of day.

She would take the card and put it in her box with the other 15 “someone special’ cards she got that day. By the end of the school day, the amount and size and shape of the cards we received defined us as popular… or not; in the right clique…or not; pretty… or not … and so on.

And somehow 20, 30, 40 years later, nothing has changed.

Unless our current relationship is with our prince charming, our soul mate, our life partner, our spouse; or unless we are the adult version of the “teacher’s pet”, Valentine’s Day defines us as single, divorced, widowed; unhappily attached; sadly attached; in the wrong relationship with the wrong person; or living with the person who just will never think to buy us flowers and candy, but they will get our car washed. No matter what, we will define ourselves in terms of our relationship on that day. This holiday can attack self-esteem, produce anxiety, create confusion over lifestyles and cause a sense of inadequacy for women who are normally intelligent, successful, self-confident and self-assured.

The whole reason for this is that we all have the need to be loved. And thanks to Cinderella and “Pretty Woman” Julia Roberts, we believe that romantic love is the ultimate form of love. And Valentine’s Day is all about romantic love.

So how do you survive this if you are not currently in a romantically loving relationship? You can begin by focusing on who you love and who loves you. Even if this is your kid sister or your mom, you can be reassured that you are a lovable person. Hang out with your mom. Take your little sister shopping. Spend some time being grateful for who you are and what is special about you. These thoughts will reassure you and remind you of your self-worth while restoring your self- esteem. Plan to spend February revisiting the goals you had set for yourself going into the new year. Concentrate on the things that are important to you. Do something special for yourself. Go to a spa, get a professional pedicure, or get a massage. Send Valentine’s cards to everyone you know. You will feel good for doing it and they will feel great for receiving it. And for someone, this may be the only card they get. Write on each card, “For Someone Special”. Prepare your favorite dinner, have a glass of wine and watch your favorite movie. Use this time to become the kind of person you would love or the person you would love to be. Use the day to do something you’ve always wanted to do.

Create a special memory. Valentine’s Day will come and go. Memories can last forever.


Embracing Self-Love

As women, we can be very hard on ourselves when it comes to our bodies, our actions, and our thoughts. We can beat ourselves up over not achieving our goals or not meeting the expectations of others. But it’s important to remember that you are the one driving your life. If you continue to be negative towards yourself, you won’t be able to motivate yourself to work towards the future you want.

In order to truly reach your goals and create the abundant life you’ve always dreamed, you have to treat yourself with kindness. Just like you need other women around you supporting your dreams, you need to be supporting and loving yourself every step of the way. You must acknowledge your own value so you can decide what life you deserve to live and gain the confidence to chase it in the face of challenges.

How can you begin to love yourself? In her blog, “A Simple Guide to Self-Love for Women,” Rebecca Crespo says it’s crucial to accept yourself for who you are, including flaws and what you’ve accomplished. This also means you have to work on not comparing yourself to others. For more insight on how to love yourself, read her full article here:

Single Steps Strategies is passionate about supporting women as they discover their worth and aspirations. Let’s start this year off with positivity and self-love!

The Power of Mentoring

Mentoring is a very empowering tool. Think back to the times you needed guidance in your life, whether it was professional or personal. Who did you go to for help? What advice did she give you? Having a woman in your life supporting you and giving you honest, constructive advice is invaluable when you’re striving to create your abundant life.

If you’ve grown from having a mentor – now it’s your turn to guide someone else. The hurdles you’ve faced on your journey and the experience you’ve gained because of them can guide another woman who is facing similar struggles. In her Forbes article, “Mentoring Matters: The Importance Of Female Mentorship,” Maryann Bruce says that when women mentor women, “it helps them gain access to opportunities and cultivates their confidence.” Women need each others’ encouragement to help them gain confidence in themselves and their dreams.

How do you become a mentor? Look around for a woman in your life who is working to reach goals she’s set for herself. Is there a way you can help her? Maryann says that a mentor provides a safe haven for questions and topics about professional development and confidence. Reach out and cultivate a level of trust so your mentee knows she can come to you with anything.

Single Steps Strategies is devoted to empowering women to create their own fulfilled lives. We want to encourage a strong community of women who can give each other advice and support. Reach out and offer to mentor a woman in your life today! For more tips on who you should mentor and how to begin, read Maryann’s full article here:–of-female-mentorship/?sh=5d1e759eccaa