Surviving Valentine’s Day 2026

“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.” – Alfred Adler

It seems we have barely finished taking down the Christmas decorations, when in every store Valentines appear. And, although Valentine’s Day should be something to look forward to in the doldrums of the winter; for many women, Valentine’s Day can bring us into the cold reality of defining us in terms of our relationships… or lack thereof.

For those of us over 50 years of age, we can remember how in elementary school, we would spend days decorating a shoe box, writing out Valentine cards and choosing the best card for that “someone special”; only to watch that “someone special” walk past our desk to give his “someone special” card to that too adorable, too sweet, “teacher’s pet” little girl, who wouldn’t have much as given him the time of day.

She would take the card and put it in her box with the other 15 “someone special’ cards she got that day. By the end of the school day, the amount and size and shape of the cards we received defined us as popular… or not; in the right clique…or not; pretty… or not … and so on.

And somehow 30 or 40 years later, nothing has changed.

Unless our current relationship is with our prince charming, our soul mate, our life partner, our spouse; or unless we are the adult version of the “teacher’s pet”, Valentine’s Day defines us as single, divorced, widowed; unhappily attached; sadly unattached; in the wrong relationship with the wrong person; or living with the person who just will never think to buy us flowers and candy, but they will get our car washed. No matter what, we will define ourselves in terms of our relationship on that day.

This holiday can attack self-esteem, produce anxiety, create confusion over lifestyles and cause a sense of inadequacy for women who are normally intelligent, successful, self-confident, and self-assured.

The whole reason for this is that we all have the need to be loved. And thanks to Cinderella and “Pretty Woman” Julia Roberts, we believe that romantic love is the ultimate form of love. And Valentine’s Day is all about romantic love.

So how do you survive this if you are not currently in a romantically loving relationship? You can begin by focusing on who you love and who loves you. Even if this is your kid sister or your mom, you can be reassured that you are a lovable person. Hang out with your mom. Take your little sister shopping. Share a bottle of wine with your best friend. Spend some time being grateful for who you are and what is special about you. These thoughts will reassure you and remind you of your self-worth while restoring your self-esteem.

Plan to spend February revisiting the goals you had set for yourself going into the new year. Concentrate on the things that are important to you. Do something special for yourself. Go to a spa, get a professional pedicure, or get a massage.

Send a Valentine’s card to everyone you know. You will feel good for doing it and they will feel great for receiving it. And for some people, this may be the only card they get. Write on each card, “For Someone Special”. Prepare your favorite dinner, have a glass of wine and watch your favorite movie. Use this time to become the kind of person you would love or the person you would love to be. Use the day to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Use the day to create a special memory.

 Valentine’s Day will come and go. Memories can last forever.

– Mary Grace Musuneggi

“Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk”…Looking forward to a great 2026

Someone recently asked me what resolutions I made for 2026. I learned many years ago that I am like the 80% of the people who make resolves that by this time in January they have lost their motivation. So instead of making resolutions, I make plans.

I begin by thinking of all the things I would like to accomplish by December 31st and plan out a program of how those could realistically happen. But to do this effectively, the most important thing I need to do is leave the past year behind. I need to celebrate the good things that happened, and maybe even keep the momentum going. But more importantly I need to review the negative events and leave them behind. Don’t carry them into the new year.

When I was growing up my Irish mother had an expression for everything. When something went wrong that could not be undone, she would say, “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” In simplest terms there’s no use getting upset about something that has already happened and can’t be changed; it’s better to move on and focus on the future rather than dwelling on past mistakes or accidents. The phrase advises against wasting energy on irreversible situations, encouraging a practical, forward-looking attitude instead. Keeping our eyes on the windshield and not the rear-view mirror.

This week last year, I was on a cruise that included a day for me to go to a monkey reserve and enjoy playing with the monkeys. What a fun time. What I did not know was that as I had a monkey sitting on my shoulder and jumping on my head, making me laugh; back at my house a water pipe had exploded that took out two-thirds of my house. Later in the day when my son Facetimed me to inform me of what happened, I had a full range of emotions. Sadness, anger, frustration. But he had arranged for a disaster service to start working on the “mess” and engaged our great employees to give him a hand. And so, things were “under control”.

Nothing I could do until I got home. When I did, I called in the “troops”. Claim adjusters, contractors, decorators, painters, rental agency, family & friends. So I decided that on the following day on the cruise I would go to swim with manatees, an activity that I was so looking forward to and now had no reason to skip. Even after I returned home, I realized that there was nothing valuable about crying over something I could not change. It happened; it was what it was. The focus was to move on from there.

My mother’s words, “Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk” echoed to me. Accept what I could not change and then recover. All I could do if I spilled milk was clean it up. I had a whole year ahead of me and was not willing to let this one unchangeable thing waylay all my plans for the year. Accept what I can’t change and change what I can. Clean it up.

My plan for 2026 is to move on from 2025, never regretting a day. Grateful for good days that gave me happiness, for bad days that gave me experience, for worst days that taught me lessons, and for the best days that gave me memories.

Let’s all look ahead to 2026 with the resolve to leave the unhappy things behind and be grateful for all the good things that are possible, if we just forget about the “spilled milk” of 2025 and look forward to potential rewards to come in 2026.

Wishing you the best year ever!